Family,  Mind,  Soul

10 Self Care Habits to Make You a Better Mom

Self Care Habits That Will Make You Happier and Healthier

Self care mom

The Importance of Healthy Habits

Creating healthy habits is the only way to set yourself up for success.  Daily habits that create a smooth rhythm for our lives starts with a choice, to be better and do better. It is essential to our lives, like oxygen to make healthy habit choices so we can continuously grow and live a flourishing life.

You’ll never change your life until you change something you do daily.  The secret of your success is found in your daily routine.

John C. Maxwell

I know from personal experience that changing the way I did things on the daily, even simple things such as reading a book before bedtime, no phone after 8 PM or reading books with my kids before bedtime has changed our lives dramatically.  The main thing I have gained from changing my daily habits was a great sense of patience for my kids.  I have learned to be patient with myself and in turn with others.

There are a few misconceptions with self care and personal development as a mom, you can find more information on that in my post The Beginners Guide to Personal Development as a Stay at Home Mom.

Why Do We Not Practice Self Care?

My old self would have answered this question by saying simply because we are mothers.  There is no time.  But from my personal growth I have found the time, in fact I have made the time. I started say “this isn’t a priority” vs “I don’t have time” which really meant “I’m no a priority,” and that it was ok to neglect myself.  In reality, that is not true and if we start saying it this way, we will see that self care is essential for stay at home mothers.

You can read more about my story of personal development and self care here.

1.) Waking Up Early

This may seem counter intuitive considering moms need to make up so much sleep.  However making a routine where you are able to go to bed early, or at least as close to the same time as your kids will allow you to wake up before them and do all the things you want to do for yourself without interruptions.  Even as I write this post at 3:12 AM on a Tuesday, I realize the importance of waking up early and doing what I want to do because it gives me life.

I typically wake up at 5:00 AM and get about three hours to workout, give myself a facial, read, pray, meditate and then work on my blog, but for some reason the baby decided to stay up from 1:00 AM to 2:00 AM, so I was already fully awake and already knew that if I went back to sleep to wake up at 5:00 AM it just wouldn’t happen, so I made a choice, to do my three hour routine now, until about 5:00 AM or 6:00 AM and then take a little nap before everyone wakes up. I knew making this hard choice to workout and work on things I wanted to work on now would stop me from having to make an even tougher decision at 5:00 AM when I would most likely feel sleep deprived from having to wake up so much with the baby.

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I love waking up early because this is my true alone time. In the quite of the home. I am able to truly focus on reading the Bible and praying, meditating and completing my posts without interruption of an idea or thought.  It feels amazing to be able to complete a task in full without having to stop and lose track of where I am at. I feels amazing to do the things I want to, and even better to know that at 8 AM when everyone is up, I’ve already accomplished so much for the day. But this also means going to bed early, I’ll teach you how in the next few tips.

2.) Create A Routine

Creating a routine can set you up for success.  When I first started trying to get up at 5:00 AM, it almost never worked because I would stay up later than I should have, or I would be doing things the night before that I didn’t need to be doing, so I just want prepared for the early morning to come.  But once I came up with a nightly routine, and stuck to it, everything changed.  I knew what to do and when to do it.  This allowed me the space and time to accomplish the things I wanted to.

This included, giving myself facials every night, Meditating, working out, praying, having time to get ready for the day without constant interruptions. (If interested in seeing my exact schedule in detail comment below.) This leads me to my next tip, setting yourself up for success.

schedule routine growinginmotherhood.com

3.) 15-Minute Speed Clean

I often find myself in insomnia because I haven’t done the dishes, or picked up the toys in the living room, or finished clearing the table… but once I started this 15-minute speed cleaning routine it changed the way I go to sleep and wake up.  Let me explain.

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I usually get the kids in bed by 7:00 PM (this took a lot of work to get toddlers on a routine and sticking to it, it was more parent training than children training, if you’d like to get more information or see a post on this, let me know in a comment below) I immediately set a timer for 15 minutes, to do some speed cleaning.  I set a timer or else I’ll spend all night cleaning instead of doing what needs to be done.  And yes, cleaning needs to be done, but I have a set schedule in place to tidy up during the day, so if the place is too messy at the end of the day it just reminds me to work harder the next day to stick to my schedule. These 15 minutes allow me to pick up any left over toys thrown around last minute, load the dishwasher with any cups or dishes left around the home, or to just sweep and pick up the bathroom from bath time.

Doing this allows me to go to sleep worry free.  It allows me to fall asleep faster, knowing I did what needed to be done, but I also didn’t over work myself with things that can be finished tomorrow and I am sure not losing sleep over one cup I forgot to load into the washer before getting cozy in bed.  These 15 minutes also allow you to wake up the next morning stress free, knowing that you don’t have a million things to already clean up and the day hasn’t even started yet.  I implore you to try out this 15- minute speed clean of your home, you have no idea how much you can really get done in 15 minutes!

4.) Social Media Break

A major factor in setting myself up for a good night’s rest and waking up happy is no social media one hour before bed time and no social media for about three hours after I wake up.  After I speed clean I’ll check my social media accounts and then plug my phone in to charge and no more phone for the night.  All my alarms have already been set and are automatic in place for the next morning.  Also notice how I said check, I simply get on my apps and check any notifications that may be important for the next day, such as play date cancellations, or new playdates for the net day, I don’t start scrolling and engaging in conversation because that is a slippery slope to wasted time for self care and sleep.

The next morning I do not check social media until well after I’ve gotten up, done everything on my schedule and have had breakfast.  I know that I am not missing out on anything important at 5 AM, 6 AM or even 7 AM, so after the kids are up and fed, I can log on, and be happy with checking what is going on for the day, and join in any conversations for about 30 minutes and then get back on with my routine.

Did you know that being on social media can ruin your well deserved sleep? Check out this article by Elite Daily on impacts social media has on your sleep.

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5.) Hydrate

Water. Water. Water. Did you know you can get cranky, anxious and irritable if you are not well hydrated?! Do yourself a favor and the kids and drink more water. I suggest this as a visual or even a large mason jar. I find that having something large helps remind me to finish. It’s like a goal to finish and move onto the next one. I fill a water bottle and place it on my night stand for the next morning.  Drinking that full glass of water is one of the first things I do when I get up.  I then have another 32 oz right after my workout, and another before the kids wake up, around 8:00 AM.  So by then I’ve already close to 100 oz of water or the day.  That just makes your body feel energized, hydrated and ready for the day.
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6.) Journaling

Try writing in a journal on a daily basis. This can help you release any stress, anxiety, negative or positive emotions.  Doing a brain dump is what I would call it, you can use any note book, journal or plain paper and just start writing down anything that comes to your find.  This can give you clarity on a situation and can be very therapeutic.  I would recommend doing this right before bed to get all those crazy thoughts out of your head and onto paper so you can have a good nights rest and not just be laying in bed, thinking about all the things you need to get done, or your to do list. I would also recommend
having this journal next to your bed.  As you start this habit, you’ll notice that even after

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you’ve written three pages and have laid in bed for ten minutes, you have so much more to write down, it will keep you up at night, so just go ahead and finish your thoughts on paper.  As you continue this practice, you’ll be able to start letting of things and know that there is time to add to your to do list tomorrow or time to think about whats for dinner the next day. Be patient with yourself in this process of growth and self care.
If you are looking a good journal I recommend, these Journal Books, that come in a set of four so you can have different colors or different moods or categories, maybe one for brain dump, one for to do for yourself and one for to do for family/kids.
If you’re looking for a journal specifically for life thoughts, ideas etc, this one is awesome.  It helps you clear your mind with prompts and definitely gives you motivation for a happier, healthier life.

7.) Read Self-Help or Development Books.

I truly believe that to be happier and healthier as a mom, it all starts with our mental health and what we know about ourselves.  I talk about it more in my post “The Beginners Guide to Personal Development as a Stay at Home Mom”.
Our productivity and the way we look at the world, our children, spouse and ourselves, all starts from within.  As stay at home moms, or even part time working moms, we are always going through something and getting guidance or a new perspective on ourselves and life is going to help us get through those bumps, hills and mountains easier.
When I was at my breaking point – or actually, when I was broken – in 2018, I immersed myself in so many books, I purchased so many that I still have gotten to, but am so happy that I read all the ones I have read.  They all helped me get a perspective on my parenting, myself and my kids.  They have made me a happier, healthier, more loving, kind and most important patient mother.
Reading and learning about myself brings more positivity into my life, lifts my spirit and helps to guide me when I am lost.  I know any one of these books will benefit you in your life as a stay at home mom as well.
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Here are a few books I personally love and highly recommend for self discovery and growth,  Positive Parenting, and reconnecting with your spouse. 

8.)  Get Outside

It is hard for us to get out of the house that sometimes we end up staying inside for a few days at a time.  “Mommy Cabin Fever” is real! This is why I take my girls and baby for a awl every single day.  We go about 1 PM, right after lunch, this also helps them to get all their energy out for the day, but also get’s them tired for bed time that is soon approaching.

Getting outdoors can shift your mindset and help you feel better before you are even burned out.  This also helps your hormone balance, and as stay at home moms especially those of us who have just had a baby, our hormones are all over the place.  To find out more information on who taking a leisurely walk benefits us all over, check out this video.

mother and child walking growinginmotherhood.com

9.)  Positive Affirmations

 Mind is everything.  What we think about, we become.

-Buddha

I am so passionate about the mind and how much of a role it plays in everything we do.  I know for a fact that we think about comes into fruition.  This is science. I love this book Think, Learn, Succeed: Understanding and Using Your Mind to Thrive in School, the Workplace, and life  or Switch On Your Brain, both are by Dr. Caroline Leaf a cognitive neuroscientist with a PhD in Communication Pathology and a BSc in Logopedics and Audiology, specializing in metacognitive and cognitive neuropsychology.  All this sounds a bit intimidating but in her books, she simplifies everything so it’s easy to read and follow the real, life changing steps it takes to take the toxic thoughts out of our minds.
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10.) Meditate.  

Meditation is an amazing way to clear your mind for the day to come or to rest your mind for the evening.  I often listen to Encounter in the mornings right before the kids get up.  It helps to remind me of why I am here, gives me a great deal of peace and in turn patience that is greatly needed for being a stay at home mom to toddlers.
I have a freebie if you’d like to try out my 5 minute meditation that I personally do when I’m low on time.  In the printable, I apply techniques such as mindfulness and breathing exercises to relax and clear your head.
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Bonus

Write a compliment for another mom in your life.  Just like you and I there are many other moms out there, even ones we know who are having a bad, horrible, failed day.  What would receiving a loving, praising notecard do to lift your spirits? The same would be for them.  So find a simple notecard or even a plain paper and envelope and write some loving praises of encouragement for another momma, if you are not sure what to write feel free to simply put some of these quotes.
This is a great habit to start.  For when we give we receive something far greater that what we have already given.  Our hearts are filled with something money cannot buy.

 We rise b lifting others up.

-Robert G. Ingersoll

The Last Thing You Need to Know about Self Care Habits as a Stay at Home Mom

Remember that habits take time and practice to perfect.  Start with one or two you know you can implement into your real life daily schedule.  See how it changes your attitude, old and life.  Share your experience below in the comments. If you’d like you can also join our private Facebook Support and Accountability Group for more support and advice.

Love & Light,

-Xue

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11 Comments

  • Erin

    Wow, these are fantastic tips! I’m not a mother yet, but I could definitely use these tips in my life now and I could see how helpful they would be when babies come along. I especially love that you take a break from social media. That’s definitely so important to recharge your mind. Thanks for sharing!

    • growinginmotherhood

      Yes, it is more important than many think. And for many, they don’t realize the importance until they are down in the gutters – like I was unfortunately.

  • Suzy

    You have such great tips here. I have been thinking about getting up earlier for a while but m girl isn’t sleeping too well lately and being 16wks pregnant I’m exhausted! I would love to make more time for journaling and meditation. I have a whole bookshelf of books I need to make time to read. Thank you for the reminder to take care of me a little x

    • growinginmotherhood

      I totally get that, I had a 3 year old, 2 year old and was pregnant when I finally realized napping was my only way of self care at that time since I couldn’t do vey many other things, and it wasn’t until second and third trimester that I started taking walks with them to give my mental state some self care. Good luck momma and rest as your self care – when possible 🙂

    • growinginmotherhood

      good luck! I know mommy stress comes everyday! As we practice a little self care we learn about good and bad stress and how to handle it all better. I’m writing a new post for next week on stress as moms too! If you’re interested make sure you come back next week to check it out.

  • Bar

    Wow this is so useful for everyone not just moms! I’m terrible at doing half these things- I really should create a plan and stick to it. I love your ideas of tidying up and avoiding social media!

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